BlueChip
EST. 1923
The firm

Our people.

Ratings are determined by committee. The committee has met continuously since 1923 and has not revised its scale.

SLOT 1

D. Prescott

Head of Coverage

Responsible for the firm’s coverage universe of eight names. There has never been nine.

With the firm since 1991
SLOT 2

P. CashcaTendiePipeYoStonkHoodTurbo, CFA

Chief Executive Officer

Holds every name under coverage, simultaneously and at all times. He cannot stop holding. Physically it’s impossible. His holdings are his life.

With the firm since 1981
SLOT 3

M. Ellsworth, CFA

Chief Ratings Officer

Oversees all ratings actions and the firm’s surveillance calendar. Spreadsheet pervert.

With the firm since 1954
SLOT 4

F. Li

Chief Technology Officer

Maintains the firm’s systems and ratings archive. He is the only one who can. Promoted following a brief review of who held the passwords.

With the firm since 2025
SLOT 5

H. P. Vance, CFA

Founder & Chairman

Established the firm’s rating scale and continues to chair the ratings committee. Successfully contacted in monthly meetings since 2009 using tarot, blood rituals, and bone-carved dice.

With the firm since 1923